all too familiar

Granger High is again locked down in mourning. A student, with a hand gun, decided he needed to end his life. It happened on the morning of Friday, January 9, 2009; the result of an all too familiar story, documented in history and literature. Quarreling child-lovers. To Granger’s credit, we have a well traveled plan of crisis management and yesterday was no exception. Protocol was initiated like an orchestrated symphony. Faculty were hand delivered private notification and grief counselors were strategically deployed throughout the building. Then on cue, after second lunch, when all children were nestled into their third period desks, the principal announced the carefully crafted message. Grief stricken students were ushered into private areas where boxes of tissue paper and comfort-giving strangers awaited. The halls were cleared, huddling groups of kids were broken up and for the rest of the day, the principal, with his two-way radio, was visible and audible outside his office. The master executor of our master plan. There is something sublimely comforting about routine, it curtailed me from screaming, wailing and falling to my knees. I remained perfectly and predictably stoic. So far, today has been a regular, routine, ordinary Saturday morning. The sun rose, the dog barked, the coffee brewed, the newspaper delivered with the same usual precision; that forever demands retrieval from under the car axel. The familiar sights, sounds and smells on this beautiful cold January morning are all around me. Yes, there is something sublimely comforting about routine. I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. I've been told that's normal.