gone fishin'

About a week ago my Aunt Gladys passed away.  She was ninety. Ever since I have been obsessed with reading the obituaries of old people

Today I read about Velma, she died on Monday, she was 95.  According to her obituary, she was a “highly-principled woman who valued honesty, generosity, fairness and unpretentiousness.” WoW!  That’s cool!  She probably wouldn’t have liked me.  But, obviously she raised some remarkable kids, considering that's what they wrote about her.

Trudy didn’t live as long as Velma, she was only 69 upon passing. Her children praised Trudy for being a wonderful mother who taught them "the value of education and faith”. Her kid's continued praising her for two more paragraphs; detailing each of their own remarkable accomplishments. Towards the end of this lengthy obituary it was unsurprisingly revealed that Trudy “spent her entire life in the service of her family and the Lord”.  Sadly, she will be terribly missed; afterall her kids just lost their free babysitter.

At the ripe age of 79, good ol' Keith went fishing.  I think that means Keith died. But who knows? The way it reads suggests that Keith has been “gone fishing” for a long, long time (...and hunting ….and camping). Perhaps he’ll be missed by his 7 kids, 33 grand-kids, 12 g-grand-kids and 2 g-g-grand-kids; but my sympathy totally goes out for Keith’s faithful companion “Dusty”

My family has been informed that when they write my o-bit, It would be better to leave out the part about my being “a devoted and loving mother who never wavered in her support for her husband”. That’s what 87 year old Helen's obituary said. I found this a little disturbing, considering her husband died 25 years ago. 

I want it on the record that I never have "served" anyone "diligently” and I am nobody’s  “humble servant”.  Leland (86)  probably wants to be remembered this way. 

 Personally,  I would  prefer to be remembered like Erma Ruth (91) from Park City ; “ an honest and a unique person who has been a true friend and expected no less from others”.

I have a long way to go;

hopefully, I still have a long time to get there.

-Susan

BFF

  

A few weeks ago my mother said, “Oh Susana, people don’t have best friends after age thirty.” She stated this little known fact in her most absolute motherly voice. My mom is 89 years old and I have never known her to have a best friend. She had 7 sisters instead. I have one sister and many best friends. One of my best friends in high school was Brenda. One morning I came into English class, plopped down beside her and showed her my new shoes. To my surprise, she looked at me angrily and sneered. “Suzy, don’t you remember I am mad at you?” 

Stupid me! I had completely forgotten; and seriously a best friend should remember things like that. I avoided her until the end of the day when I again tried to show her my new shoes. This time I was much more tactful and told her I was sorry for whatever it was that I had done. We talked it over, and in her opinion, the biggest problem was the fact that I had forgotten to be mad. Sometime ago I deeply hurt Lori's feelings. I know this because she revealed it to me yesterday evening after we, (Lori, Margaret and I) had spent a wonderful afternoon making tamales. Apparently, two summers ago at Margaret and Al’s wedding, I let a flippant, tactless, thoughtless remark blast out from my big mouth. In front of everyone; referring to Lori, I said, “she is our residential hang-er-on-er”. She told me she cried all the way home. I am so sorry.

In my defense, I don’t remember saying it. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know why I would say something so stupid. I want to deny the whole thing and call it a misunderstanding. But the fact remains that Lori clearly remembers and therefore, obviously, whatever I said was completely embarrassing and devastating to her. And I am so sorry. If Lori were my sister, instead of a best friend, I would have known immediately what an idiotic thing just blasted out of my mouth, we would probably still be arguing over what I said and what I meant by it and she would never let me forget how stupid I am. But unlike a sister, Lori buried the incident deep inside and unfortunately it has bothered her for a long time. Hopefully now Lori will forgive me and we can forget about it and go shopping for shoes. So as I laid awake last night, I did some serious sleepless thinking about friends, sisters, family and the meaning of life. I decided three things. #1. Being carelessness and insensitive does not make me a very good friend. I am indebted to all my best friends because I know what they have to put up with.

#2. I know that at one time or another I have probably said, done or reacted in inconsiderate ways towards my friends and I am sorry and I am going to change.

#3. As long as I can remember none of my best friends have hurt my feelings, but if they do, I will yell at them immediately before I forget.